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Finally did it. 25 inflatable mattresses later and I’ve finally turned my apartment into a bounce castle.
Things I didn`t learn in high school... how to pay bills buy a house apply for college but thank goodness I can graph a polynomial function.
If love is blind....why is lingerie so popular?
A buddy gave me some of his pee in a jar so I could pass a drug screen. I failed, which is weird, cause I drank ALL of it.
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
Sorry I cancelled at the last minute, but it took me forever to think of an excuse I hadn`t used yet.
Last person to like this wins a prize.
My son said he went potty and I asked if it was number one or number two. He said number 7,,, and now I`m terrified to go into the bathroom.
Don`t you just want to write on some people`s Facebook wall "you peaked in High School".?
OMG this is Freaky! Have 8 beers & 3 shots, go to your phone the next day, press ‘Recently Dialed’ & the name of your crush will appear!
All of those in favor of bitch slapping stupid people, say "I"
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
Why is it called `after dark`, when it is really after light
A world without Facebook would be much more productive.