Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
Call me an optimist, but I always viewed my cup as half full…of Vodka!!
Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.. and if I do, I’ll tell them not to tell anyone.
Whenever I hear the phrase `anything is possible`, I giggle and think about someone trying to slam a revolving door :)
Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
Next time one of your friends leave their Facebook open, randomly pick one of their friends and like all 973 of their photos.
I bet people don’t understand that I’m joking 800% of the time.
If Kutcher went to Sheen and said It`s still your show, this was all a joke and yelled "You got Punked" it would be the greatest prank ever.
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don`t worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.
No officer I wasn’t texting, that’s dangerous. I was checking my email.
Babies are really cute until you meet one that`s not a picture.
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2) if it does not look like it`s breathing give it mouth-to_mouth
I`m having an out of money experience.
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones. You piece of shut.
I keep seeing all these commercial on TV about working out and getting "ripped" in 90 days.. Give me a bottle of Jack Daniels and I`ll get ripped in 15 minutes