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Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside.
I chose the wrong fork in the road, took the road less travelled and got off the beaten path and now I don`t know where the hell I am.
I hate it when a dog starts barking and then every other dog nearby retweets him.
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church. Everyone looks at you in digust, but deep down inside they want some.
I don’t think we can get through adulthood without a good sense of humor and a strong middle finger.
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you`re nuts.
I just threw a piece of food on the floor of my cubicle. Totally forgot my dog doesn`t work here.
People who live in bouncy castles shouldn’t throw darts.
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
Happy 4th of July ! ... It`s a holiday. You know what that means... Ten million status updates saying the exact same thing. Get ready.
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.
Some people are flirting with my delete & block button
Does the employee manual say I CAN`T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.