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I think I really have an amazing butt. Every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say "what an ass.."
I`m getting really tired of being really tired of stuff.
Nothing tests that whole "for better or worse" thing like the question "does this look infected?"
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
If by `the Hamptons` you mean `my pajamas`, then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons
A trail of clothes leading to my bedroom means I dropped them on the way from the dryer.
Anybody wanna go halfsies on an orgasm?
If pigs could fly, nobody would be eating chicken wings.
Ask not what your father can do for you, but what you can do for your father. Happy Fathers Day!
Who ever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard!
Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/
I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a chickens butt and think...`That looks tasty, I`m gonna eat that.`
I`m just amazed after all these years that we STILL haven`t seen Mario`s buttcrack.