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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
Decaf only works if you throw it on people.
I`d say I`m not a morning person but I`m really not sure I`m an evening person either.
I just burned 1200 calories! I forgot about the pizza in the oven.
Marriage. When dating goes too far.
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
if you wake up at 3am and scream bloody mary three times in the mirror, your mom will tell you to shut up and go to bed
If you think I hate you ... I probably do.
Nothing says God is forgiving like hell.
If it looks like a pig and walks like a pig, do me a favor & tell my ex girlfriend I said hello.
I don`t have a drinking problem, I just celebrate everything! Like the fact that shirts have armholes, I`ll be celebrating that tonight.
Just knowing that I have successfully pissed you off again makes my day.
Well I just finished up some spring cleaning. Holy crap, owning a Slinky can be such a hassle.
scratch here ¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦ to reveal my status
I can`t take this long distance relationship anymore.. Fridge, you`re coming to my room.