Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in cages. We just want to set them free and play with them.
I used to be a class act......or clown,as my 7th grade teacher would tell my parents!!
Gravity is a real downer.
A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million.
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents. The second half will be ruined by our children
Never trust a married guys opinion of who`s hot. It`s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
This is why my kids dont take me places anymore ... Waitress: “Do u have any questions about the menu?” Me: ” Yes, What kind of font is this?”
Hi everyone! Welcome to AA. This is a "judgment free" zone...unless we`re talking about Janice who ate all the cookies last week.
Not to brag, but Netflix recommends certain movies just for me.
I didn’t give you the finger...you earned it.
I read a sad statistic that something like 2% of all sushi goes un-Instagrammed.
Every time I`m not with my kid and someone asks me "Where`s the baby?" I just yell "Oh crap!" and run in the direction I came from.
Made the decision that I`m done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
Where is the button to restart summer?
Calling out your ex`s name during sex is a nice way to show your current lover that you won`t forget them after you break up.