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If you own a podium and put up a sign that says "valet" on it, can you just steal cars?
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
2017 didn`t need that extra hour back.
Whats the best part about dating a homeless chick, ..... You can drop her off anywhere
I`ve grown up a lot recently. For example, I used to drink beer all day and now I drink wine.
Life is basically one long, terrible date with yourself.
If guys were smart, they’d forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food.
So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.
If you want to be remembered after you die, borrow money from everyone you know.
I`m starting a pay it backward campaign. When I get up to the drive through window I tell them that the car behind me is going to pay for it.
Girls are supposed to dance. That`s why god gave them parts that jiggle.