Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Ever had sex while camping!? It`s intents!
Years ago, my girlfriend said, “It’s me or the beer!” I wonder how she doing…
I`m pretty sure if I put what was actually on my mind as my Facebook status, all my friends would delete me.
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
Just think: right now, your body is cookin` up some poop.
My roommate is on a date and said he`s convinced she`s coming home with him tonight. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters. Now we wait.
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
One day my fridge will take revenge on me by opening my bedroom door every half hour, staring at me for a few minutes and then leave.
The way to win the lottery is to choose the correct numbers in the correct sequence before they are announced. (You’re welcome)
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
Whoever said "What goes around, comes around", never passed around a bag of Doritos......................
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
If I keep hitting the treadmill like I do every night, in a few weeks maybe I`ll learn to turn on the light when I get up to pee in the dark
Opposites attract, that`s the trouble with being awesome