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Apparently getting injured while in the KISS Army doesn`t make you eligible for V.A. benefits.
Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
“Do you have a charger?” is the new “Could I bum a cigarette?”
Why do people with really bad breath always want to tell you secrets?
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
Shout out to metaphors. Without you there would only be like four songs.
One would have to assume that Amish chicks carve their own sex toys.
I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn’t find a close enough parking spot so I left.
Sorry I said "at least it`s healthy" when you asked me how cute your baby was.
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.
People go to the bar hoping for 2 things...to get hammered or to get nailed.