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It only takes a second to show a person how much you feel about them. The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...
Everything happens for a reason. That`s why I drink to everything!
My therapist said that I needed to find healthier ways of expressing my anger. So I decided to jog home after setting fire to my ex`s car.
If you don`t give a f*ck then why you telling everybody?
The best way to deal with dumb people is to never leave your house sober
Most people donate to the homeless. Me? I donate to the topless.
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
Sometimes I get in this weird mood where I find everyone annoying. But it only happens when I’m awake.
*puts selfie on top of christmas tree because I am the star*
All`s not lost my Friends. It won`t be long til people realize Selfie Sticks also make wonderful lightning rods......
"If your reading this, I think your awesome!"
If I`m guilty of anything it`s loving you too much. Oh and indecent exposure...I suppose trespassing too.
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
in wine there is wisdom. in beer there is freedom. in water there is... umm bacteria