Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.
If it`s true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
If I could have dinner with anyone either alive or dead. I would totally choose dead. Because, more food for me then.
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
The easiest way to keep a secret is without help
Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas
I`m pretty sure the whole "ladies first" thing was created by a guy just to check out girls butts.
I hate it when you can’t find your phone because you left it someplace stupid like in the car or your non-dominant hand.
I am a very very very bad influence ... In a good way.
Never look directly at the people having a sizzling plate of fajitas delivered to their table... It’s what they want.
Today is boozeday, I mean Tuesday...same difference!
My friend`s Jeep was broken into and she acted so surprised about it. Your car is held together by zippers! It`s as secure as my pants.