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Ever since I heard that women have one breast bigger than the other, it`s given me another reason to stare.
Had a big mix up at the store today... Apparently, when the woman said strip down facing me,she was referring to my credit card.
Wait...so the "c-word" isn`t co-worker?
Did you know that if you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.
I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
In-laws the reason why I`d never get married..
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
So last night I put a whopee cushion on moms chair, waited and finally heard it go off.. I walk in with a massive smile on my face to find out that she hadn`t even sat on it yet.
QVC has agreed to purchase the Home Shopping Network for around $2 Billion...OR just 100,250,627 easy payments of $19.95!
I’m not a “stalker”. I want to make sure you’re okay at all times. You can look at me as an unpaid bodyguard.
If all the world´s a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.
You never know how many people you dislike until you have to name your child.