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I am actually impressed by what Lance Armstrong has done. When I was on drugs, I couldn`t even find my bike!
"It`s cold!", "Happy birthday!", "I`m so blessed", "Political rant!"... There, now you don`t have to go to Facebook today. You`re welcome.
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
Do you ever order a club sandwich just to feel like you`re a part of something?
Let`s be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
There’s a good reason I’m up this late: because I have to wake up really early.
I just stepped on a cornfkake does that make me a cereal killer ?
Sharing your faith on Facebook is like sharing a fart in a elevator. It might feel nice to come out but no one really wants to hear it.
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
Some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk & some people repeat themselves when they`re drunk.
I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
Pee your name in the snow and you`ll quickly understand why they should teach cursive in our schools.
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
I rather read the software license agreement for my computer than some peoples Facebook status drama on my newfeeds