Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Dang I didn`t make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row
Still waiting for the day I can illegally download groceries
I’m an only child, and I’m still not the favorite.
You just dont know how dumb you are until you get a little smarter
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
Helpful tip #12: Never buy all the tools you need to kidnap, kill and bury someone from just one store.
Dearest Neighbors, Please do not call the police, it`s not domestic violence or a wild party. It`s football season, that`s just me screaming at my TV.
Never judge a girl`s boob size by their jacket.
I hate it when someone starts to tell me something, then says "Never Mind".
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
I have no idea what swag is, but I`m fairly certain what I have is the opposite of whatever it is.
Facebook is a lot like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every couple of minutes to see if there`s anything good, but nothing ever changes :b