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Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
I have a pretty big ass, so when I half ass something you`re still getting something impressive.
Apparently sleeping your way to the top doesn`t mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room.
People all around the world are out doing interesting and productive things right now. You are reading this.
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
I wonder how long I`ll be skinny from all this dieting and juicing I`ve been doing. 1 month? A year? A couple of ye....ooh look cake.
I`m the type of person that would thrive in solitary confinement.
If practice makes perfect, one day I will make the perfect mistake.
I might not be "Smarter Than a 5th Grader", but I can buy booze! Booyah!
The nice thing about being a guy is your underwear only costs $10 for a 3-pack.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Do you think the inventor of the USB will be buried twice? The 2nd time because they put him in the wrong way?
Hell, I finally figured out what was wrong with me ... I have been reading the wrong horoscope!!
Is your family tree a cactus? Because everyone on it is a prick.