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Call me an optimist, but I always viewed my cup as half full…of Vodka!!
If it`s true that we are here on earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
A comprehensive list of the things women have taught me: 1) I`m wrong.
To the woman that won the powerball ... "what`s up baby"
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
I just watched a documentary on marijuana. I think all documentaries should be watched this way.
I`m gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet to screw with myself when I get Alzheimer`s.
These animal crackers are crap, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did.
I`m just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson`s to take his family members to the vet and get them microchipped.
Why does whoop-ass only come in a can?
am feeling lazy......... jst like the guy who desighned the Japannese flag
Liam Neeson trained Batman, Obi Wan, and Darth Vader. He is both Aslan and Zeus…and he punches wolves. Why would you kidnap his family?
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…
thinks that 100-calorie packs have just enough cookies to piss me off!!
The police want to interview me. Strange, I didn`t even apply for a job.