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Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing, but it cost a fortune in stamps.
Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
A lot of you lose your sh!t and have some pretty epic, public meltdowns. I just wanted to say thanks.
My spouse thinks I`m crazy. But I`m not the one who married me.
Damn your Hott!...........................Freaking Sun! lmao =P
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
Some people have to learn lessons the hard way. Like with a bat. A bat is hard.
I`m certain that the reason for Wasps, Hornets, and Yellowjackets was to remind grown men that they can still scream like a little girl.
If you smoke after sex, you`re doing it to fast.
What’s the answer to this question?
You know if you say gullible slowly it sounds like oranges :)
I`d like to thank the bars for being there for me.
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”