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Jehovah`s witnesses don`t celebrate Halloween. I guess they don`t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
I don`t exactly have a "to do" list. I have what you might call "If I ever log off Facebook and feel like getting around to doing it" list.
Don`t forget to get offended today by some retarded sh!t that has absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever.
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a prescription bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness."
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
Coffee is just a hug for your insides.
Some days are better than others. And those days always involve alcohol.
just want to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes can change your life!
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(:
Hoping to get "till death do us part" reduced to a 15 year sentence and time served.