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When pornstars get up to speak in front of a large group, do they picture people with their clothes on?
Dear Friday, I`m ready !!!
If I could just make one thing very clear at this point ... I would.
why call it ordering pizza and not the pursuit of happiness
Am I the only one who would like to see Punxsutawney Phil bite off the finger of the person that wakes him up every Groundhog Day.
As I slid my finger slowly down her G string, I thought to myself "this is a nice guitar"
If tomatoes are a fruit, then ketchup is a smoothie.
omg I just found out I`m allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!
Don`t you wish it was as easy to adjust the brightness level on people as it is on your phone?
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
Never make an arm wrestle bet with a man who has been single for longer than 6 months.
I mixed Taco Bell sauce into my Ramen Noodles, It tastes exactly like poverty.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You must be a parking ticket or something for the word FINE is written all over you.