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I met a woman on a dating site that said she was high maintenance when I finally saw her it looked more like she was in need of major repairs
“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
Smile, it confuses people. ;)
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
The generation of today are so allergic to everything, future wars will be fought by throwing bags of peanuts and cat hair at each other.
MAY` contain nudity? Either it does or it doesn`t. DON`T WASTE MY TIME
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
"Well, now I see how you came up with the word `Microsoft`." -Melinda Gates (on their wedding night)
Some moments you remember all your life. Reading this, unfortunately, is not one of those moments.
No, I do not want to talk about how I got all these scratches. On a completely unrelated note; If you`ve ever wondered how many squirrels fit in a pillowcase,,,.. it’s 9.
I wish I was full of tacos instead of feelings.
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.