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lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
I`m not allowed to have any energy drinks until all the cat`s hair grows back.
You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
I support recycling, I wore this shirt yesterday.
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
The first sign of laziness:
they say money cant buy you happiness but id much rather be crying in a fararri...
Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up their dreams and got real jobs.
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
My illusion of having the Force is crushed the minute the remote is slightly out of reach.
Screw doing situps...teddy bears don`t and everyone loves them.
I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!
You can’t run from your problems forever. Eventually, you’ll have to take a car or a plane to really avoid them.