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Meanwhile, Somewhere farther down on your timeline, your aunt just posted the "Footprints" poem on your wall again.
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Except when you’re heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.
Why do we say "A word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones who need it?
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
They told me to never give up. Now they call me a stalker.
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t.
I don`t post a lot of personal statuses - but when I do it`s all about you ..
I am hungry 25 hours a day
Remember when mowhawks meant you were a tough punk rocker? Now they just mean that you`re 3 and your parents are idiots.
BOOK FACT: If you took every book at Barnes and Noble and laid them end to end you get thrown out by security and banned from returning.
Whoever said you can’t “like” your own status is just not awesome enough to do it.
"Sir your phone`s ringing." "Yeah, phones do that."