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I read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they would’ve mentioned that you’re supposed to eat them.....
Boobs: because you can`t suck on a girls personality
I bet Captain Crunch has some amazing abs.
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back in my toy chest..
Only in America: We have a holiday devoted to gratitude & then less than 12 hrs later beat the sh!t out of each other for a $10 crockpot.
If your house doesn`t have house numbers on it, you need to address that situation.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
I don`t get it. If violets are blue, why do we call them violets?
My friend offered me a free pole dance class. I said no. With my debt, the last thing I need to find out is that I`m great at pole dancing.
Boobs are like friends. Some are big. Some are small. Some are real. Some are fake. And some are just so fantastic you want everyone to meet them.
You can never really say `what`s on your mind` when you have family members on your Facebook.
I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid.
I thought about exercising all day long. I am so exhausted.
At the end of each day, life should ask us, `Do you want to save the changes?`
There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.