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I can`t wait to get one of those self-driving cars to watch my wife argue with it.
For once I`d like to see "It`s been a crappy year, mainly cause your were part of it"
I look forward to paying off all my debt and finally getting back to just being broke.
Home is where you can say anything you want, because nobody listens to you anyway.
I`d be vegetarian ... if bacon grew on trees.
I love buying a $1 burger and getting $2 worth of mayo...
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to .... unless your in prison!!!
The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
You see a mouse trap, I see free cheese and a challenge. ;)
Happy 15th birthday google, 3 more years and you will be able to search for adult sites legally
Do you ever get the feeling that you`re being watched? Because if it`s bothering you, I`ll stop.
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.