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Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly and for the same reason...
LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.
If I was Neil Armstrong landing on the moon, "That`s one small step for man," would have been, "Screw you every girl who ever shot me down!"
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
That message felt like a great idea until I hit send.
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
Some psychologists say that sleeping naked can help boost a person`s confidence, but nobody in this park seems to appreciate it.
LIKE if you hide your favorite food from your family
My best stories always end with the words ... "and then I got the hell out of there."
Apparently, you shouldn’t ask your wife if she’s off her meds more than once a week…
Listen lady, if you stopped screaming maybe you would enjoy holding hands with me.
Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the whatever.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong...and a Tax is a fine for doing well
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.
All I want is a little more than I’ll ever get.