Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes, I use big words I don`t always fully understand in an effort to make myself sound more photosynthesis.
I`ve been waxing my car for twenty years and I still don`t know karate.
I`ve been starting my diet tomorrow for the last 20 years.
Tip: When you’re not famous, people don’t let you pay for things with an autographed napkin.
The ceiling fan DOES NOT make a good lettuce shredder....
People tend to get angry when you treat them the same way they treat you.
Ugly people who live in glass houses…shouldn`t live in glass houses.
Call me a hoarder if you want but don`t come crying to me when you need a 3 foot tall stack of mayonnaise jar labels.
Fingerprints are proof that God doesn`t trust us
"The more the merrier": My excuse for extra food.
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
Fun Game: Walk down a hallway with both arms outstretched to the walls while shouting, "Hug me or turn around!!!"
People were shocked when they found I wasn`t a good electrician. :-)
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me