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Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
I always try to go the extra mile at work, but my boss always finds me and brings me back.
More people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
When a girl says: "If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best"... What she really means is: "I`m a f*ckin psycho."
I got a job at Bath and Body Works just so I can tell people to smell my finger...
This cold weather makes me half the man I used to be.
Then there was the ex-cop who started his own landscaping business. He called it Lawn Order.
Ironman and Batman`s only super powers is being super rich and smart really makes Bill Gates a real disappointment.
Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck.
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !
Does swimming in debt count as cardio?
If the Sahara Desert had a motto it would be "Long time, no sea."
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.
Does anybody know how many toddlers you have to bring to `Toys For Tots` before you`re eligible for an Xbox?