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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
So how many women out there think men are pigs? Gimme a show of tits!
Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.
The term "bath toys" has a whole new meaning when you`re an adult
If Monday had a face, I´d punch it.
Last night I had this awesome dream, where I fought this huge fat ninja and knocked him out with my super power punch. I`d tell you more but I have to take my wife to the doctor. She has this mysterious black eye.
whoever said that there are no stupid questions was stupid
My ex warned me that I would never find a girl like her again....THANK GOD!
It turns out if you cry at the DMV they`ll let you take a second photo
You’ll never be as young as you are now.
Condoms prevent minivans.
Is Nudeism a religion?
The first 5 days after the weekend are always the hardest....
A part of me wants to go on a diet and eat healthy. Sadly that part of me is a liar.
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !