Daily Silly Status

I bet you $567.89 you can’t guess how much I owe my bookie.

There`s nothing better than a nap after a good nights sleep.

How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to

I can’t hang out tonight because I’m done with people for the day.

Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.

Did I ever tell you about my old girlfriend? The one with the "Lazy Eye"? I had to break up with her, she was seeing somebody on the side..........................

My favorite beer is the next one.

Don`t worry, some people are their own punishment in life.

The pizza guy just said "see u tomorrow" ...

I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...

My daughter asked me why I carry a gun inside the house. I told her I was scared of the CIA. She laughed. I laughed. Amazon Echo laughed.

It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that`s just for the alcohol.

So the Boy Scouts are going to let girls join. Teenage boys and girls camping in the woods together. What could possibly go wrong?

Just because nobody complains doesn`t mean all parachutes are perfect.

If you’re telling me to relax, it’s probably your fault that I’m not.