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People who can finish a shampoo bottle at the same time as their conditioner are truly ninja`s.
Must be my day for Mis-Advertizing --- I just ate a Bowl of Cheerios ----- and they DIDN`T make me Happy!!!! FML!!! :-P
If you take bites out of string cheese rather than rip strings off , you don`t f*cking deserve string cheese.
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how`s your day going?
The Zoo is a safe place to fart.
Nothing in the world is more expensive than a women who’s free for the weekend
I`m pretty sure God just pointed at me and laughed.
If I could bring one dead person back to life I`d bring back Walk Disney. Just to show him the shows on Disney channel and see his reaction..
Shake up a random soda pop in the company fridge today. You deserve it.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid’s vomit.
Why is the jolly Green giant so damn jolly
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
How do you get in touch with the models in the pictures that come with the frame? I have an out of control, elaborate lie I need help with.
Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don`t want to look like a dork.