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You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
My ex is living proof as to how stupid I can be.
If you like someone, pretend they`re a charger and you`re an iPhone on 1%. Run to them. Grab them. Plug them in. Wait, I lost the metaphor.
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
I try not to be rude, but some people make it hard work.
People say there are plenty of fish in the sea, well that is nice and all but I’m human, I don’t date fish.
Sorry, everyone, it looks like my Facebook account was hacked by tequila last night...
Christmas is just like a day at the office ... You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
“I wish there was a more convenient way to stalk others”- The phrase that started Facebook.
Sad life : After watching 2 seconds of Spongebob I already know what episode it is ... I`m 41
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I’m always ready for bed
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
If I ever start a band, I`m going to call it The Voices in My Head. Think of all the fun ways you can tell other people what you`re listening to...
Life is about perspective like the sinking of the Titanic was a miracle for the lobsters in the ships kitchen