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I am not available because I am looking at porn that takes up the whole computer screen
I hide from people too, so I get it unicorns, I get it.
All I`m saying is if guys were meant to make them, they`d be call sandWIZARDS.
Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
Things were said. Feelings were hurt. Your car was set on fire. My point is you’re wrong & Raphael isn’t the best Ninja Turtle. Get over it.
I had to defrost the fridge last night before bed. Or foreplay, as she calls it.
I hate it when I mentally undress a woman and my OCD kicks in and I start folding her clothes.
You’d think with as much time women spend looking at their ass in the mirror, they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
Went shopping alone and the cashier asked, "How are you guys doing?" Now I`m 90% sure he can see ghosts and one is following me around.
My mind has a mind of its own.
Thought I was having deja-vu. But it turns out, I do the exact same things every day.
Printing an expiration date on a bag of Cheetos is just a waste of ink.
I just need someone to feed me and tell me I’m pretty.
So today my gym was crowded...at least I think it was a gym...Do gyms usually have drive thrus?