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There’s a limit of how close you should be to another man when taking a selfie.
Flat screens are nice and all, but they`ll never compare to the television/record player/ liquor cabinet combo extravaganza we had as kids.
If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping?
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
Dating someone solely on their looks is shallow. Consider other things such as how much money they have.
Engineers: "okay, so we agree the space between the seat and the console will allow people to see what they dropped but never retrieve it"
My wife has spent all day arguing that she isn`t stubborn...
If a worker gets fired & banned from the Lego company, have they been "blocked"?
Been there, done that. allegedly
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
Oh, you fell in love?! I fell in my bathtub.
If someone found a legit way to make penises bigger, no one would believe them.
I`m sorry officer, I thought you wanted to race.
Going to the skate park to watch people fall.
My scars tell a story. A story about a guy who`s really f*cking clumsy.