Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve gotten to that age where nothing fits right anymore. Even my birthday suit looks like it needs ironing...
The covers of this book are too far apart.
Before criticizing my taste, remember that I like you.
A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
Before you judge me, know that I don`t give a crap. Ok, go ahead.
Your so lazy you should have a Life Alert bracelet that says I`m Just Napping.
Find someone who is honest, laughs when you make fun of them, and then give each other orgasms.
We should start seeing Valentine`s Day crap in the stores any minute now.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
i got a dig bick..........how many read that wrong
A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money, as well as afterward.
I need to start eating more healthy, but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it’s not there to tempt me anymore.
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.
I`m not perfect. But I am better than you.
I can`t turn water into wine, but I can turn vodka into dinner