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Call me an optimist, but I always viewed my cup as half full…of Vodka!!
Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
I`m pretty sure country music singers are all just the same guy wearing different hats.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
is pondering why people have a favorite color M&M when they all taste the same!
Some people think I say inappropriate things...I perfer to think of it as being f*cking honest.
There are two reasons I would never drink toilet water. Number 1 and number 2.
Thought for the day : Why was the cat in the bag in the first place?
I finally figured out how to get rid of that annoying sound in my car. I opened the door and pushed her out!!
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
A man is as faithful as his options
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now I`m heading north to start a new life.
Why aren’t mustaches called mouth brows?
Don`t take nude pics. Problem solved.