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My driver`s side window stopped working,,,, So yeah,, I`m probably gonna starve to death..
Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
Those kids in the Trix commercials were real jerks. Why couldn’t they just share their cereal with the rabbit?
I can walk up to any dog, rub its belly and make a friend ... That trick rarely works on people.
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back in my toy chest..
Please don’t take anything I say personal or too seriously. I’m just an idiot with internet access.
Running away does not help with the problems unless you are fat
make little things count. teach midgets math.
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
Maybe America will believe in global warming if we make it a Snapple Fact.
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
Noise cancelling toilets should be a thing.
I say the things better left unsaid.
Peace on earth would be nice, but not gaining 20 pounds over the holidays would be a Christmas miracle.
I party until the taxi with the pretty red and blue lights picks me up.