Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I have decided to stop doing things "Like a Boss" and will now do things "Like a Rhinestone Cowboy."
You’re the shampoo in the eyes of my life.
Whenever our neighbor`s dog is barking, I know there`s either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened.
I ate gummy bears and didn`t bite off their heads or make screaming noises as they entered my mouth and I think this means I`m an adult now.
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
I`m getting worried about this Ebola virus. I mean, I`ve got Norton but...
I do my best proofreading after I hit `send`.
I`m putting more thought into my Halloween costume than into my job.
High-five a veteran today.
Job interview `What is your biggest weakness?` `Honesty` `I don`t think honesty is a weakness` `I don`t give a flying *#(@ what you think!`
Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
You know what I hate? People who answer their own questions.
Just watched (insert title of horror movie) and it wasn`t scary at all. The crap in my pants is a pure coincidence.
What would I give the woman who has everything? Well, my phone number for a start.
People think I`m a hugger, but I`m actually shaking them down for snacks.