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Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
I replaced the spare tire in my car with a box of wine. I`ve no idea how to change a tire, & I bet I`ll need a drink as I wait for a ride.
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
I’m tired of things costing money.
A leaf blower, but for people.
why me is me ?
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
A massage is just professional petting for humans.
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.
Turns out a crash diet doesn`t mean having vodka with every meal and falling down the stairs at noon!
Sometimes I listen to strangers conversations and mentally give my opinion
Is there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?
The Titanic is a great lesson of why just the tip can get you in a lot of trouble.