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If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
Why are you showing me pictures of your kid if you have a dog?
This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
When it comes to bug protection, you just can`t beat "OFF!".
My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn`t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no Cash, no Hope and no Jobs. Please dont let Kevin Bacon die!
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
"Paypal me your lunch money!" -Cyber Bullies
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
True Story: People will believe you when start a story saying "True story"
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
You`ll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
Me: I must be out of my mind. Me: You and me both.
I say No to drugs but they... won`t listen.
Facebook is the reason why my work is not done.