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not to brag but I finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes.
Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
I`m not sure why they gave all these other people cars.
Business plan : 1. hold sign that says "free hugs" 2. Whisper during the hug, "it`s $50 to let go"
Sometimes I just go to work for the free internet.
I hope Karma smacks some people before I do.
Whats the definition of a tree? Something that stands still for forty years then suddenly jumps out in front of a woman driver.
Drake isn`t even a rapper anymore. He`s an emotion, like "how are you doing today?" "idk im feeling kinda drake though"
I went to Jared for my girlfriend`s Christmas gift. I`m sure she will love her Subway gift card.
Every so often you come across a person that supplies you with endless motivation, even if it is just to jump into traffic.
I start a lot of conversations with "goodbye" in hopes that I trick people into thinking we already talked.
Unless life also gives you sugar and water, your lemonade`s gonna suck!
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening
I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.