Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I was gonna take over the world this morning but I overslept. Postponed ... Again.
Save your little napkin, bartender. I don’t plan on having this drink long enough to set it down.
Something I will never understand: Why it’s acceptable for people to be idiots but not acceptable for me to point it out.
Today, I am doing my part to conserve energe, I’m going back to bed.
This week is the 40th anniversary of the Rubik`s Cube. If you kids don`t know what a Rubik`s Cube is, it`s what people would stare at without human interaction before cellphones. Mel
My only argument with using the treadmill, is that I can`t run away from my farts.
If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
The world would be a better place if we all got along like the "Price is Right" audience.
Your girl always on her knees. What she forgot she had feet?
This year rather than candy for your valentine why not liquor instead.
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
Those raccoons must of had one heck of a party last night!!!! That`s the 4th one I`ve seen passed out on this road
Every Facebook photo album could be titled either "Envy Me!" or "Pity Me!"
"Don`t cry because its over, smile because his new girlfriend looks like a horse."
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.