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Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
I bet more people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
My cat probably thinks I`m cleaning my ice cream...
Perverts can contribute to society. Look at the disturbed individual who discovered cow`s milk.
Lady`s if you want guys to look at your face instead of your chest ... eat a banana.
Let`s lay in bed all day & trade sexual favors for trips to the fridge
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
Dark humor is like sex, not everybody always gets it.
You can learn a lot about a woman by watching her load a gun.
"I’m not drunk!” is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
It’s pretty scary that before facebook… All these thoughts and stuff just stayed in peoples heads.
Just washed my car with the squeegee at the gas station.
Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself.
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.