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Crap, summer is here and I`m nowhere near in drinking shape yet.
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
"I am upping my standards... so up yours!"
If I was a Jedi there is a 100% chance that I would use the Force inappropriately.
Hi, we`re a group of teens who solve mysteries! We wanna be taken seriously so we wrote a theme song about how we can`t ever find our dog.
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
iPhone 6: For people who don`t mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
Pretty sure nobody would run marathons if they were never allowed to talk about running marathons.
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
I just finished writing an article on "How To Improve Your Memory"- But I forgot where I kept it!!
The only way I`ll ever run a marathon is if I set up the booths and hand out tags.
dude i wasent tht drunk you were huging a peice of chese saying ill never let u go sponge bob
"You`re so cute!" works as a response to anything my girl says 99% of the time when I`m not listening which is 99% of the time.
I`ve decided!! Iām giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
You could pleasure me just by walking away.