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Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
I bet it’s pretty hard at a mime’s funeral to figure out when the moment of silence is over.
That moment when you wake up at 2 o`clock a.m and remember how crappy that after earth movie was and you go back to sleep immediately
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
Is it the S or the C that`s silent in scent?
it`s friday o clock
Whoever said “two wrongs don’t make a right” has obviously never experienced McDonalds breakfast after a night of binge drinking.
If you`re going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10am, don`t be open.
The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were texting all night with a calculator.
I don’t think my neighbor watches porn. She asked if I could fix her sink. I’ve been here for an hour and I’m still fixing her sink.
Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for "Race," I add a question mark and then write, "Anytime. Anywhere."
Kid`s Choice Awards are a great reminder why children aren`t allowed to vote.
I need to put someone on my weekend to-do list