Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
That mini heart attack you get when the parked car next to you moves and you think you’re moving.
The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I break wind in my sleep.
I drank an energy drink so if anyone needs help packing, pushing your car to a gas station or shaking the leaves off a tree
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
Here`s a list of helpful tips for meeting a great girl: 1. Don`t be me.
they say there`s love in every corner....gosh I think I`m moving in circles
If I owned an auto collision shop, I’d name it “Auto Correct.”
A woman that doesn`t ask for nothing deserves everything
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
Check this one out.........1
Struggling to get your wife`s attention?.....just sit down and look comfortable.
you`re about as useless as a red light in grand theft auto
I don’t care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.
C`mon Netflix, we both know I`m watching the next episode. Just go ahead and start it.
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.