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Summer is here. I`m in the process of moving all my bad habits outside.
Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
Was sitting and doing nothing. Then I realized I could be sitting and doing nothing on Facebook. So here I am.
If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
"I have no idea. Why don`t you just Google it?" —My answer to just about every question I`m ever asked
is a mystery you´ll never solve
When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.
I don’t mind going to work. It’s that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
Just realized all books are different combinations of the same 26 letters. This is BS!
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.
I always have a note in my pocket that says "john did it" just in case I`m murdered because I don`t want him to remarry
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…