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Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
Once I`m finished with this last container of Cool Whip, I will be the proud owner of a complete set of salad bowls.
I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
I`ve decided that I`m an ass man. Don`t get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren`t as cute as donkeys.
My worst ideas have all either started or ended with having no pants on.
I was going to LIKE and compliment your FB pic, but I`m not a good liar.
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
Stupid people who suddenly make a smart decision have no idea how confusing that is for the rest of us.
I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake
Sometimes I can’t remember what parking lot I left my car in at the mall so I get it Malaysia Airlines…I totally get it.
Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn´t surprising really, since it isn´t my birthday.
Put your gossiping skills to the test, go write a novel...
I never want to go to sleep less than I do at bed time.