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Easter can be just as much fun as an adult as it was as a child. Just paint and hide beer cans instead of eggs.
Always look out for #1. Don´t step in #2 either.
dear journal..im now the coolest kid in school....mom:SWEETIE THE CHESSCLUB IS HERE 4 U!!!
I was getting really depressed today but then I realized double cheeseburgers exist
I believe in looking out for number one. Especially if the dog is not house trained.
Why does Facebook even give me the option to `Like` my own status? Of course I like my status, I`m F*ck!ng Hilarious! ...and Sexy.
My next pet is going to be named "Peeve."
Sorry, I can`t hangout. My uncle`s cousin`s sister in law`s best friend`s insurance agent`s roommate`s pet goldfish drowned. It was tragic.
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
You`re never too old to be spanked ...If you play your cards right.
All men approve of premarital sex......until they have a daughter.
I bet wrecking ball operators are some of the happiest people in the world.
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I don`t get it. Moving on.
Remember, I`m always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on.