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Insomnia is very common. Try not to lose any sleep over it.
A woman saying “I’m not mad at you” is like a dentist saying “You won’t feel a thing.”
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I`m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it`s a two-star hotel.
The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice.
Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
The problem with rich people is I`m not one of them.
I do everything faster when I have to pee.
Full disclosure: All my statuses with less than 3 likes were made by my intern.
Even hoarders throw their chapstick away if someone else uses it.
People who sit and talk while their pizza is gets cold gives me anxiety.