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Change of plans everyone: NOBODY Wang Chung tonight.
I left work in slow motion but it didn’t blow up behind me.
My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
I`d walk barefoot across an ocean of Legos for you.
One minute without you feels like 60 seconds.
I removed my windshield wipers and now I don`t get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
"I like your tree`s earring." ... "That`s a tire swing."
Well ... here I am ... cleverly disguised as a responsible adult!
People should be required to pay an extra dollar for every syllable of their coffee order.
To do list- (1). Go to pet store. (2). Buy bird seeds. (3). Ask how long it will take for the birds to grow. (4). Wait for the reaction.
This coffee would work better if I could throw it at people.
Life really is all down-hill once you get to big too ride in the shopping cart anymore isnt it??
If Shakespeare is correct and "all the world is a stage" then I seriously would like to be in control of that trap door.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.