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My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
Its all sh!ts and giggles until someone giggles and sh!ts
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
I don`t care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.
Judging from my last 5 relationships I am convinced my heart is trying to kill me
Spent $50 on E-bay to enlarge my happy place. The creep sent me a magnifying glass.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
I finally had the talk with my kids. I told them that in the wild animals eat their young so they better get their sh!t together.
As far as distractions go ... I like to think I`m a good one.
Marriage teaches you forgiveness, compromise and tons of other things you wouldn`t need if you`d stayed single.
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
At least a stalker is there for you.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........