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In Store Special - "You`re My One and Only" Valentine`s Day cards... 4 for $5...
Best thing about being single… -no drama -no fighting -no crying -no feelings -no confusion -no worries -no PROBLEMS!
I purposely bought the same grill my neighbor has, so every time it needs to be cleaned, I just switch them at night.
I don`t get it, no matter how many times I call `shotgun` the cops always put me in the backseat.
A Girl Scout made headlines when she sold cookies outside a Colorado pot shop. There’s no word on how she plans to spend her first million.
If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
Winning isn`t everything. Rubbing it in the face of your opponent is also important.
It`s not often you see a pink poo in your bowl & realize that not everything is edible from the sex shop
I`ve been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don`t know how to tell her I forgot her name.
I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
I`m laying on my yoga mat making up fake poses to fit my current activity level. Right now I`m in "downward facing chalk outline".
There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
Wow....turns out I`m NOT a Ninja. That really hurt.
That`s it!! I`m never drinking again until tomorrow.