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Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like Facebook in real life.
MISSED CONNECTION: I gave you the Heimlich maneuver on Maine St. You insisted you weren’t choking and put up a good fight.
I think it`s safe to assume that people buying stock in twitter have never actually been on twitter.
You millennials and your obsession with public healthcare. Back in my day we just died
Computer froze? Just press all the keys.
If I could just make one thing very clear at this point ... I would.
I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence.
Today`s society is a good example of what happens when you let the clowns run the circus.
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
Not sure if I need sex, sleep, or to punch someone in the face.
May the bridges I burn light the path in front of me...
If guys were smart, they’d forget the nightclubs and watch the supermarket for girls who buy frozen dinners and cat food.
Pay no attention to the pizza being delivered to the bush outside your bedroom window.
I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."
I`m returning these Gushers. They taste like sh!t. "Sir. Those are paintballs." Oh. I`m returning these paintballs. Someone ate a few.