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I`m getting a mistletoe tramp stamp.
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
To be truthful from deep down ... I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
Worries about the economy grow again after the world`s biggest yacht-selling company announce a drop in sails
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
It is literally impossible to prove that Harry Potter wasn`t just in his parents basement on acid the whole time
I don`t get enough credit for not going on killing sprees.
I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.
Too bad the little guy "Tattoo" from Fantasy Island isn`t around anymore. They could ask HIM where the plane is!
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
When I get a prescription for drugs, I don`t ask, `Will it work? Are there any side effects?` No, it`s `Can I drink with these?`
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?
Can I just drop it like itβs luke warm? Itβs been a long day and Iβm tired.