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Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
Match dot com, but for socks.
My doctor asked me if I drink to excess. I told him I would drink to anything.
It`s a little known made up fact of mine that 40% of the air inside a Taco Bell is just farts.
When one door closes, another one opens.... That`s when you realize that you`ve bought a really bad second hand car.
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
*uses Ouija board* NEW PHONE WHO DIS
Non alcoholic beer is like porn movie on a radio
When people tell me “You’re gonna regret that in the morning” I sleep in til noon, because I’m a problem solver.
hates when I´m singing along with the radio and the artist messes up the words!
I hate it when someone turns the light on while I`m sleeping and I`m like O_-
Greeting all the Single People a very Happy Independence Day!!
This day will end with either wine or shopping. Probably both.
Occasionally, I like to take a look through my old status updates and smile at my sparkling wit.
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.