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Relationship status: my cat won`t sit still for our selfies.
Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
I knew you were coming so I baked a cake ... It was delicious.
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
When I was your age, we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get drunk and have sā¬x.
Whoever left me in charge of all this booze is going to have a lot to answer for tomorrow.
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I`ll kill you all.
Swearing releases stress and that`s just one of the f*cking reasons I do it.
Life`s most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.
I told you a million times do not exaggerate!
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.
Anyone know how much snow is too much snow not to go to the liquor store?