Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If people are what they eat, some people must eat a lot of stupid.
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer`f*ck off` to `go away`.
Dang girl,, Are you a Snickers bar? Because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly long lasting,, hold up,,,, are those nuts?
You drink too much, swear too much and your morals are questionable. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a friend.
On a math test: 2+2 = ? Me: *Use calculator just in case
Hey people who buy bottled water for their dogs, can I have some money?
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
Mac & Cheese doesn`t contain many vitamins, so it`s important you always eat a bunch of it.
If you`re going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
If you`re behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you`re not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
Kids these days with their high tech cell phones. They will never get the experience of being stuck in a tree and not knowing if anyone is coming to help. Oh, and could someone come and set my ladder back up so I can get down.
If i had a dollar for everytime i was thinking about you, i would start thinking about you.
As long as I remind myself "The b!tch had it coming" is not a valid court defense, I`ll be ok
Getting a text from someone when I`m trying to Facebook is the emotional equivalent to walking into a spider web.