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I don’t have an attitude problem… You have a problem with my attitude… That’s your problem, not mine.
I love tan lines... it`s like God came down and high-lighted all the good parts... ;-)
I don`t care how smart your phone is, it`s not going to change how stupid you are.
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
thinks whoever said, "All men are created equal", obviously has never been to a nude beach!!
The key to successful relationships is not to start any.
Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
I gave up on humanity when I picked up this girl`s phone and saw that my number was saved as Free Food.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed", many women still sleep with their husbands.
I`m sorry we fought ... I hate it when you`re wrong.
No, I don`t have tourette syndrome..I was just telling you what I think of you.
Not only am I a master of suspense, but I...
I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
SEX! Now that I got your attention. I just wanted to say, "Have a great weekend!"