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How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
Be careful, there is also plenty of mentally unstable fish in the sea.
People often say laughter is the best medicine, but they neglect to mention that an overdose can cause one’s a$$ to fall off.
Today is the 1st anniversary of the end of the world. Can you believe it`s been a year since the world ended? Time sure flies when it`s the apocalypse.
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
I`m "got my sexual education from a 2 Live Crew cassette tape" years old.
Her: I love it when we finish each other`s Him: pancakes
If you wake up with a funny taste in your mouth on christmas morning...............just remember that santa only cums once a year. :D
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
Everytime I see a person jogging I already know they have facebook, everyone on facebook works out.
The biggest cause of cancer in mice is research.
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)
10 million people share the same birthday as you. Your personalized horoscope means sh!t.
Day Light savings this weekend is pissing me off, we will lose a hour we will never get back...........wait...thinkin`.....I guess we do....carry on...
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.